Right As Rain
by redhead evans
Summary: We all know that our favorite Deputy doesn't like Gilderoy Lockheart but we don't know why. Is it because he's a fake? Because he's famous? Does she have something against pretty boys or blondes? Or is it something else entirely?


When one is a new teacher, especially at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, it is important that you learn quickly or suffer the consequences. For example, it would be extremely useful to be able to go in between the Great Hall, Dumbledore's office, your rooms, your office and your classroom. You should also learn very quickly not to accept any food or drink that either Fred or George Weasley might offer you and to never let go of your wand in their presence to prevent yourself from grabbing a fake one by accident. Knowing where the staff room is proves useful to know, especially since staff meetings are held there. It is in those meetings that the final lesson lies for anyone to grasp onto and never, ever let go of. No, if you value your life you know that only Albus Dumbledore escorts Minerva McGonagall back to her rooms.

The staff meetings didn't have any assigned seating, they were Professors for God's sake, but it certainly did seem that way. Dumbledore always sat at the head of the table farthest away from the door, a position befitting his status as Headmaster, and, naturally, his Deputy sat at the other end. The rest of the Professors arranged themselves along the table according to either the similarities in the subjects they taught or their own personal interests. Severus was always put at Dumbledore's end of the table, effectively separating the two. Poppy and Rolanda sat opposite of each other but next to Minerva so that the friends could giggle quietly together. Of course Minerva would never admit to giggling but it was apparent to everyone that it was no matter what she said.

Each one was very predictably run, beginning with a speech that was followed by at least one complaint from Severus about Harry Potter and then followed by at least one complaint from nearly everyone about the Weasley twins and their latest prank. Any schedule changes were then brought us as well as any suggestion for dances or feasts. The meetings were ended with a simple word from Dumbledore followed by the immediate request that Minerva allow him to accompany her back to her rooms. A nice game of cat-and-mouse followed where she tried to come up with any and every excuse for a negative answer and ending when he easily found ways around them. She graciously took the arm he offered her and they walked out the door laughing and chatting amiably. Since only three members of the staff knew they were married, it gave them the chance to openly display their intimate relationship without anyone noticing. He would kiss the back of her hand before going to his rooms where she would be waiting on the king-sized bed for him to come and take the many layers of clothing off of her and let her beautiful ebony hair down from its strict bun.

This routine had never been broken, everyone knew how Dumbledore looked at her and what would happen to them if they made a move on her. No, it would take years for someone stupid enough to come along and usurp Dumbledore's place, someone stupid enough to ignore all the warning signs and foolishly fling his heart at her feet and truly expect her not to break it.

She looked at her husband from across the table and caught the look that said the meeting was almost over. Hoping not to draw attention to herself, she began to gather her things together and turn both herself and the chair into the perfect position for a quick getaway. As the first syllable rung through the room she leaped from her chair but hardly got one step as another voice sounded over Albus', effectively cutting him off, and stopped her in her tracks. She slowly turned to the owner of the voice, Gilderoy Lockheart, and fixed him with an unreadable stare. The room's focus was on them, no one had ever been stupid enough to interrupt the game of cat-and-muse before and they were looking forward to a show. This had no effect on him whatsoever, if anything it made him braver, and he completed his request.

"Minerva, would you be so kind as to grace me with your presence for the walk beck to my office? I have an idea that I would like to hear your opinion and possible approval on."

After taking a small, slightly panicked glance towards her husband, she took the proffered arm, studiously ignoring Snape's distinctive snicker from the other end of the room and carefully keeping their contact to a minimum and subtly increasing the distance between them. Then, head held high, she allowed Lockheart to lead her from the room.

As they walked he jabbered on about something, she knew it was about Valentine's Day from what she had heard before allowing her mind to wander from her incessantly talking companion. She had been looking forward to tonight in particular for quite some time; Albus had mentioned a surprise and from the hints he had dropped she could gather that it involved a midnight broom ride and a picnic in an abandoned clearing of the Forbidden Forest. She was pulled from her daydreaming when her companion called her name. She brought his face into focus and fixed him with a slightly irritated look that prompted him to repeat his earlier enquiry. She took that time to realize that they had gone all the way to the DADA office.

"Minerva, you haven't been listening to me at all, have you?"

"Oh of course I have Gilderoy," she lied. Now what to say to convince him- everything she knew, naturally. "I think that your plan for Valentine's Day is a wonderful idea and wholeheartedly give my approval."

He smiled at her, a caring smile, and stepped closer forcing her back a step. A small frown creased his features but vanished almost instantly.

"It means so much to me that _you_ approve, Min, it really does."

'Woah, what? That wasn't how _that_ conversation was supposed to be going. Now, how to get out of here, back to Albus, quickly and without seeming rude.'

"I'm glad to hear that. Now I really must be getting back to my rooms, I have an early morning ahead of me, grading papers and whatnot."

"Oh, before you go I need you to sign a few forms for me. Where did I put those?" He seached for a moment before deciding they were in his room and walked through the door, inviting her in.

She sputtered soundlessly, not being able to find anything to say and stepped closer to the door, keeping a good distance between the door and herself. He came back out a second later with some parchment in his hand and began closing the distance between them forcing her back towards the corner. 'Fuck! Now what Minerva? Use that brain of yours and think of a way out of this. Shit… Got it!'

She stopped moving backwards and allowed her eyes to roll to the back of her head as she swooned gracefully and dramatically, preparing herself to hit the floor, and was surprised when a soft arm encircled her shoulders, supporting her weight, before she hit the ground. She mentally cursed; while she didn't want to hit the ground, it would have given her a better excuse to leave than the one that she had to work with now. He called her name softly, a note of panic in his voice, so she groaned and stirred, her eyes fluttering open slowly and allowing her previously unfocused eyes to focus on his painfully bright blue eyes. She reached up and grabbed his shoulders, allowing him to swing her gracefully upright (think like in dancing) and hold on to her a bit longer than necessary before letting go and pretend to straighten her hair, hat and robes.

"Are you alright Min? Is there anything I can get you?"

"Huh… Oh no, I'm fine, I'll be right as rain in the morning. I just need to lie down for a while. I'll not impose on you any longer; if you'll excuse me…"

She turned towards the door but was blocked as he moved in front of it. Damn the man!

"Really Min, it's no trouble at all. I have a bed right through that door and I wouldn't want for another fainting spell to hit you while you are walking back alone. What if you hit your head and didn't wake up, I wouldn't want to risk the blame for that."

"If it will weigh on your conscience then you can escort me to the Hospital Wing and leave me in Poppy's more than capable hands."

He frowned but agreed, insisting on carrying her there. 'Ummm… how about no? Well they do say that if you lie once it leads to more lies so I was warned. Oh well, here goes…'

He stepped closer and she stepped back again, wanting desperately to hex him into next year but settled insead on trembling slightly.

"Gilderoy, please, it's not necessary for you to do that."

"Yes it is Min, look you're trembling. Come here and let me take care of you."

"No, Gilderoy, please back off. You might think that you're helping but you really aren't. If you pick me up I'm going to start thrashing like crazy; I don't want to hurt you by mistake. One of my previous boyfriends was a bit abusive." 'Yeah, no one gets to touch me like that except for my husband.' She relaxed as he stopped moving towards her and held out his arm for her to take. Once again keeping physical contact to a minimum they walked to the Hospital Wing. Poppy, no doubt alerted to their presence by some type of ward and having had to interrupt a snogging session to tend to her new patient froze when she saw who was coming to her for help. After seeing Minerva's desperate look she shooed Lockheart out of the room by alternately reassuring him she would be fine and telling him he would only be a distraction. When he finally left she whirled to face Minerva, a frustrated yet curious look on her face. Grinning as the fact that she had interrupted something became apparent, if the woman's disheveled appearance was anything to go by, she got up from the bed that she had been all but shoved into and began to move towards the door.

"Sorry for interrupting, Poppy, but I could _not _get him to back off and let me leave." She donned a contemplative look before speaking again. "Pretending to faint probably wasn't one of my better ideas. I'll tell you the details tomorrow but for now I'm late for a date with my husband. I trust the study is unoccupied." At the woman's nod she opened the door. "If you'll excuse me then… tell Alastor I said hi for me."

She was still grinning when she flew out of the fireplace and into the familiar comforting embrace of her husband's arms.

"What took you so long, my dear?" he said as he started to kiss from her jawline to her collarbone.

"Oh nothing that I couldn't handle, love. By the way, expect Valentine's Day to be interesting." At her husband's questioning mumble into her neck she elaborated. "Something about Dwarves dresses like Cupid delivering Val-O-Grams to the students. I'll be expecting to receive one, although preferably without the Dwarf bit."

She turned around in his embrace to capture his lips with hers. Yes, if they kept that up she would defiantly be right as rain in the morning.


End file.
